The Widowhood Curve: Why Retirement Planning Must Include the ‘After’

We recently helped a widowed client navigate the heartbreaking process of getting her affairs in order after the untimely death of her husband.

Naturally, these experiences leave us all a bit raw. So, when I saw these statistics, I was stopped in my tracks:

80% of men die married.

80% of women die single.

And among those who live to 100? The vast majority – 80% – are women.

Sobering? Yes. But also deeply instructive if you’re building or fine-tuning your retirement plan, especially if you’re part of a married couple.

When you consider those statistics, who gets the short end of the stick, men or women? It depends on your perspective. Men are more likely to exit the stage early, leaving their spouse behind to handle everything solo. Women, meanwhile, often live longer, but also live alone for much of their final chapter. Either way, it’s not exactly a win.

These realities demand one thing: Retirement planning must actively involve both spouses, and especially prepare the surviving spouse for the road ahead. It’s not just about money; it’s about roles, responsibilities, and readiness.

What happens financially when one spouse dies?

When one partner passes away, the emotional toll is immense, but the financial consequences are often underestimated. Here’s what typically changes:

• One Social Security check disappears (the smaller of the two).

• Pension income may be reduced or eliminated, depending on the payout option selected.

• Your tax filing status shifts from Married Filing Jointly to Single, which often triggers a higher effective tax rate and a smaller standard deduction.

• Division of labor gets upended. Whether it’s managing bills, cooking, home repairs, or navigating Medicare, one spouse now does the work of two, or pays someone else to do it.

For couples who’ve always divided and conquered responsibilities, this transition can be overwhelming, both emotionally and financially.

Women: you’re most likely to face (at least part of) retirement alone.

Statistically, women outlive men. That means wives are more likely to be the ‘last one standing’. So, here’s the question: Are you prepared – truly prepared – to be financially independent when the time comes?

And for husbands: is your spouse prepared for your absence; not just emotionally, but financially and practically?

These aren’t fun questions. But ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. Planning does.

Here are a few practical steps couples can take today to plan for the inevitable:

• Involve both spouses in the planning process. No more “he handles the investments” or “she does the budgeting”. Shared awareness results in shared confidence.

• Create a survivor income plan. Know what income will remain after one spouse passes and whether it’s enough to cover the surviving spouse’s expenses.

• Document key accounts, contacts, and decisions. If something happened tomorrow, would your spouse know how to access everything?

• Work with a financial advisor who facilitates joint conversations. A good advisor isn’t just a money expert, they’re a communication guide for couples who may see the world differently (opposites attract!).

Talking about death and widowhood isn’t exactly romantic. But, do you know what is? Providing your spouse with peace of mind. Giving them the gift of clarity when they’ll need it most. That’s what true partnership looks like in the second half of life.

You may already have a well-thought-out retirement plan. But if that plan doesn’t account for the reality that one of you will likely live alone, then it’s time to revisit the conversation.

Take the next step

If you or your spouse is feeling unprepared, it’s okay. That’s where good planning begins. It doesn’t need to be overwhelming, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Start with a small step. Talk with your spouse about how things would change if one of you were no longer here. Better yet, bring in a third party like a financial advisor to help guide the discussion and the strategy.

Because while we can’t control how long we live, we can control how well we’re prepared.